Family

 

My mom with BobLike many Americans I have been doing some reflecting as 9-11 approaches. I do so every year. This year marks the 10th anniversary of the terrible attacks that occurred in New York, at the Pentagon, and in the skies over Pennsylvania. There is much coverage of the events of that day and its repercussions. While it may seem excessive at times make no mistake, ten years is a significant milestone both in terms of time and psychological effect. Please mark the day with respect and solemn introspection, but also with the resolve not to let the acts of a handful of fanatics rule the course of your lives.

My brother Bob died in a swimming accident when he was but 20 years old. The event shattered all of us, but perhaps hit my mother hardest of all. There is no greater pain than for a parent to lose a child. For her the events of August 2nd 1963 were just as devastating as the events of September 11 2001 were for the Nation, albeit at a much smaller scale. Mom found it quite hard to cope with the new reality that her oldest son was forever gone. Still she had four other children, a husband, and a house to manage so she continued on as best she could. People were amazed at her resilience. When asked about it she would simply say, “Life goes on.”

My mother never forgot the pain of losing her son – is was a heartache that followed her to the grave. Two dates forever caused her pause: Bob’s birthday of September 26th, and the fateful date of August 2nd. Some anniversaries were harder to face than others – “Bob would be 21 today,” she said on his birthday, just about two months after he died. The following year it was, “It’s hard to believe Bob’s been gone a year already.” Then after a decade, “Bob would be 30 this year.” All very somber moments indeed, as it is now for our Nation.

While Mom never forgot the loss of her son, neither did she let it rule her life. After a period of grieving she went on, raised her remaining children, reentered the work force, traveled, and enjoyed her grandchildren. America and Americans should never forget the events of 9-11, just as we should never forget the events of December 7th 1941. But we must as a nation refuse to be ruled by them. As my mother would say, “Life goes on.”

 

BucketThe house was locked up tight, as always – blinds and curtains drawn. My bet was the AC was off again. Anything to save a penny for Pop, the miserly bastard. Still, he is my dad and they keep harping about checking in on the elderly during this heat wave. He’d be expecting me. Since Pop fired the neighbor kid to save ten bucks a week I had to come over every other week to mow the lawn.

I let myself in the backdoor with my key. The front is so dead-bolted and chained it would thwart a SWAT team.

“Hey, Pop, you home?” Of course he was home. Where else would he be? I could hear the TV blaring in the living room. The house was hot, but not deadly.

“’Bout time you showed up,” I heard him call from the front room.

Nice to see you too. I checked the thermostat as I went by – set at a miserly 85 degrees. At least the AC was on, if only nominally.

“Pop, it’s like an oven in here.” I sat down on the couch across the room from him. No hugs or handshakes between us. While he accepted me as his son and I accepted him as my father, that was about the extent of it. “You want me to turn the thermostat down?”

His face bunched up in aggravation. “Electricity isn’t free, boy. Stay away from that dial.”

I threw up my hands in resignation. “Fine. Suite yourself.” I’d probably crank it down to 80 before I left. “I don’t think I’ll mow the lawn this week,” I said. “Too freaking hot. Besides, the grass isn’t growing much.”

He just shook his head. While he said nothing his body language shouted, “Lazy!”

“You had lunch yet?” I rose and started for the kitchen. Pop is perfectly capable of making his own lunch. In fact he’s a spry old guy. But when I’m around he expects to be waited on.

“No, no thanks to you.”

I opened the fridge and poked around. “Ham and cheese?”

“Had that yesterday,” floated in down the hall.

“Grilled cheese?”

“You know I don’t like grilled cheese.” The volume on the TV went up, indicating that I was annoying him.

I grabbed mayo, lettuce, and tomato and put on the coffee. I proceeded to make him a tuna fish sandwich. He’d bitch about that too, but I was done asking.

I stepped to the doorway so I could see him. “You should get out some, Pop. Do things. You’re cooped up in here all day, every day.”

“I’m fine.”

“You should travel. Mom always wanted to travel.”

He picked up the remote and the volume went up once again.

I went back into the kitchen and finished the sandwich. No sooner had I set the plate down beside him he barked about me not bringing his coffee. I took the remote and turned off the TV.

“It’s still brewing, you old crab. Maybe if you got out of the house once in a while and spent some of that money your attitude would improve.” He grabbed the remote back out of my hand, but he didn’t turn the TV back on. “You should make a bucket list and…”

“A what?”

“A bucket list. You know, a list of things you want to do before you die.”

“That’s just stupid.”

“I have one. I’ve even crossed some things off it already.”

“Like what?”

“Well, last year I went to Yosemite…”

He snorted and gave me a dismissive wave. “Your mother and I went to Yosemite before you were born. A big rock with a bunch of trees around it. You wasted money on that? You’re dumber than I thought.”

I spun on my heel and retreated to the kitchen for his coffee. I saw his pill bottle on the counter.

“You take your medicine yet?”

“Yes, I took my goddamned medicine. Where’s that coffee?”

I poured his coffee. Then, almost with out thought I opened his pill bottle and shook out three. Pop likes lots of sugar, so he’d never taste them.

As I was cleaning up I heard a thud in the living room. Looks like I can cross off another item from my bucket list:

Inherit large sums of money.

I went out to mow the lawn. No need to call 911 just yet.

~
© 2011 by J. M. Strother, all rights reserved. Photo © 2011 by J. M. Strother.

 
Our Leftover Ham

Our Leftover Ham

I hate to admit this, but I may have actually started this little rebellion. On Monday, after having ham for dinner on Christmas, then again on Sunday, as well as having ham for lunch on Sunday and again on Monday, I told the family I was tired of ham and wanted to go out dinner Monday night. Once everyone was ready to go my wife and oldest daughter wimped out, claiming it was too cold to go out. So there I was staring leftover ham in the eye once again.

I refused to acquiesce and decided we were having jambalaya instead. I must admit I make a pretty passable jambalaya if I do say so myself, at least when I get a little help from my friend, Zatarain.® Still, my youngest daughter refused to eat it and satisfied herself with a PB&J.

We decided to save the ham for today, slice it up, cook it in Bar-B-Que sauce and have BBQ Ham sandwiches for dinner tonight. Or so I thought.

Then I got this plaintive phone call just before leaving work this afternoon. It was my wife. Could I go by Olympia and pick up some gyros for supper?

What? I thought we were going to have Bar-B-Que’d ham?

Gryos From Olympia

Gryos From Olympia

Oh please! Oh please! she begged. Seems no one at home wanted ham again.

That’s the problem when there are only four people around for big festive celebrations. We had similar problems at Thanksgiving, only with Turkey. And that was after wrestling the smallest bird in the bin from some gal who thought she could beat me to it. Amateur.

So tonight we had gyros. I have to admit I enjoyed them much more than I would have the ham.

But there is still something of the pork persuasion lurking in my fridge. Waiting. For tomorrow.
~jon

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